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A guild for women in Black Desert Online. (Alustin)


158 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Yeah, I dont want to go on bickering back and forward now for the eternity, I will just repeat what I already said - it is about the attitude and some common sense. You cannot really wave the "I am a girl" flag in some f2p game public chat and expect everyone to be respectful and awed. Why even feel the need to do so? Why would you care for bunch of randoms in some game to know you are a girl? Only my close friends in games know for sure I am a woman since I mostly talk to them on Skype. Who cares about the rest when good part of those are just silly kids with testosterone overflow acting like every preschool by pulling your hair when they want your attention.

Men are wonderful creatures but you cant see that if you push all the wrong buttons and dont have a developed ability to deal with it yet. For example... instead of raging, why dont you just laugh them off?

I know youre right and I'm sorry about raging but we all have struggled in our life and im not going to say that im perfectly normal. I am 20 and Ive been overly emotional for all of my life. Ive tried to bare with difficult situations by laughing or ignoring but it just ends up building up inside and I explode. And I don't know why i just feel weird when they say ' Oh I bet he did that and that' and it makes me feel uneasy for some reason, but another reason could be because I'm not very interesting person and as a 'he' im pushed away and swapped for more interesting people around me so I might have a slight hope that is I say I'm a girl theyll stick around for longer, especially because most girls in guilds are pretty popular . Iva had that issue in every mmo ive played.. tried to get a long, joined the guild but after 2 days no one was talking to me so I left. I guess because I tried so hard to make friends online and when it didnt work (because people just randomly decide to not like me) After hearing about gamer girls being rare i Thought people might stick to me when I say it, but i was wrong and got bullied instead... I dont know and to be fair I have big issues understanding myself most of the time :$

Edit: Anyway thanks and I'll take on your advice, ill care less and enjoy the game more, what is there to lose, Have a nice day!

Edited by XkiviX

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Posted (edited)

Yeah, I dont want to go on bickering back and forward now for the eternity, I will just repeat what I already said - it is about the attitude and some common sense. You cannot really wave the "I am a girl" flag in some f2p game public chat and expect everyone to be respectful and awed. Why even feel the need to do so? Why would you care for bunch of randoms in some game to know you are a girl? Only my close friends in games know for sure I am a woman since I mostly talk to them on Skype. Who cares about the rest when good part of those are just silly kids with testosterone overflow acting like every preschool by pulling your hair when they want your attention.

Men are wonderful creatures but you cant see that if you push all the wrong buttons and dont have a developed ability to deal with it yet. For example... instead of raging, why dont you just laugh them off?

So you modify your play style: Only talking to a few close friends on Skype, only telling a few people that you are not male.. because you know that "good part of those are just silly kids with testosterone overflow acting like every preschool by pulling your hair when they want your attention." ... You can't have it both ways, Just Saying... 

Some men's buttons are pushed just because someone else is a female and speaks. So no, we are not responsible to go around avoiding pushing people's buttons because no one is psychic and can know what those buttons are in the first place; we are not responsible to not mention we are female so as to avoid getting treated like shit. Men are responsible to understand that people who are not straight like them or cis-gendered like them or male like them are still in fact full fledged human beings and should be treated the same as they would want themselves to be treated.

 

Ahmagad Kat, don't make this into more than it is (are you the votf-kat by any chance?).
I'll not be joining these girls, but I assure you an all girl guild is not what you seem to make of it. It's just fun to be in a group of powergirls sometimes, you know? Don't you ever go out just with the girl friends? Never been to an all-girl bachelor party? I've been commanding all-girl parties in gw2 a few times. The killing and dieing works just the same, just the chat isn't. How is that demanding 'special treatment'?
If anything, the guild name could be less obvious. But so what? They'll be sure get more pvp than average with that name, but that can only be double fun.

Just wanted to point out that the name of this thread is NOT the name of the guild.

Edited by Alpha
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Posted (edited)

After hearing about gamer girls being rare i Thought people might stick to me when I say it, but i was wrong and got bullied instead...

People, especially young people grouped up tend to be bullies. Its is not gender exclusive, I met enough "girl gamers" who were absolutely obnoxious towards anyone they sensed was insecure or shy, much worse than their male counterparts. It is how life is, but in time you *will* learn how to deal with it, ignore people who dont suit you and find those who do. I wish for you that it happens sooner than later :)

So you modify your play style: Only talking to a few close friends on Skype, only telling a few people that you are not male.. because you know that "good part of those are just silly kids with testosterone overflow acting like every preschool by pulling your hair when they want your attention." ... You can't have it both ways, Just Saying... 

Some men's buttons are pushed just because someone else is a female and speaks. So no, we are not responsible to go around avoiding pushing people's buttons because no one is psychic and can know what those buttons are in the first place; we are not responsible to not mention we are female so as to avoid getting treated like shit. Men are responsible to understand that people who are not straight like them or cis-gendered like them or male like them are still in fact full fledged human beings and should be treated the same as they would want themselves to be treated.

I dont modify anything - it is my playstyle. I just dont feel the need to wave "I am a girl" flag everywhere I go. 

I am wondering if you are applying your criteria on your boss, your dear old grandmother who just cant understand some ways of modern life or every random stranger you see in a grocery shop? Do you act like elephant in a porcelain store and push your "I am not responsible for how you act" agenda nevertheless no matter what you may break? Adults mostly understand everyone is a human being no matter the gender orientation. Silly kids will be silly kids no matter the gender again. So if you know you are dealing with silly kids or someone incapable of understanding certain things, why provoke them into reaction you wont like? Just because girl/gay/cis-gender/whatever?

Edited by Kat

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Posted

People, especially young people grouped up tend to be bullies. Its is not gender exclusive, I met enough "girl gamers" who were absolutely obnoxious towards anyone they sensed was insecure or shy, much worse than their male counterparts. It is how life is, but in time you *will* learn how to deal with it, ignore people who dont suit you and find those who do. I wish for you that it happens sooner than later :)

Thank you ill try my best in this game and see how it goes ^ ^ And nooooooowww.. REFRESH TIME

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Posted

Wanting to be able to be in voice chat for a raid and not face inappropriate attention is not "waving an I'm a Girl flag" around. It is simply wanting to play a game, the end.

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Posted

Wanting to be able to be in voice chat for a raid and not face inappropriate attention is not "waving an I'm a Girl flag" around. It is simply wanting to play a game, the end.

Please, there are so many ways in which you could avoid all that so-called "inappropriate attention". If someone harasses you during voicecall, just tell them you're butt ugly- they'd fuq off, sure enough. You say mid way through, after receiving the "negative" feedback about your guild, that it's a "safe-haven" where girls can relax and play the game without getting harassed by guys- I don't see the reason why you neglected to post that in your guild ad? Instead, you posted some ambiguous text about like-mindedness- what is that? Gamer grrrls, indeed.

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Posted (edited)

Please, there are so many ways in which you could avoid all that so-called "inappropriate attention". If someone harasses you during voicecall, just tell them you're butt ugly- they'd fuq off, sure enough.

That is not "avoiding" the inappropriateness, that is having to deal with it and handle it and still be on the receiving end of it. We don't need tactics for handling harassment.

 

You say mid way through, after receiving the "negative" feedback about your guild, that it's a "safe-haven" where girls can relax and play the game without getting harassed by guys- I don't see the reason why you neglected to post that in your guild ad? Instead, you posted some ambiguous text about like-mindedness- what is that? Gamer grrrls, indeed.

 

We posted our OP in exactly the way we wanted to, we kept it simple and didn't "come on too strong" and we knew that some of our target members would recognize the codeword Grrrls. That word on it's own says everything we want it to without a huge TLDR post. The Riot Grrrl movement is known to address issues such as -----, domestic abuse, sexuality, racism, patriarchy and female empowerment and be inclusive to non-gender-conforming persons. Riot Girrrls are known to support and organize women and their allies.


Our second post (where we mention being a safe place) had a bit more of an explanation than our initial post and our group spent several days going back and forth in a google doc to phrase it exactly the way we wanted it. We didn't need to put all the info from our second post in with the OP because they each had their own purposes. Yes, Gamer Grrrls, indeed!

Edited by Alpha

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Posted

Hell no, however what i demand is normal treatment.

After hearing about gamer girls being rare i Thought people might stick to me when I say it

You do realise you just said 'I would say I was girl so people would treat me differently', right?

 

No. I respond with pointing out that the guy you are comparing us to was named Hitler. Also, lame Godwin's law attempt.

Do you have problems reading or was my comment confusing? 

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Posted

 

You do realise you just said 'I would say I was girl so people would treat me differently',

 

 

can you please stop. I have closed the conversation and moved on from this thread. Say whatever you want or think however you want.i thought id get more interest not to be treated differently. I just thought people would talk to me out of simple curiosity I didn't want to be treated special I just wanted to talk.. And since I'm a boring unhealthy person I thought they'll be more interested since I'm opposite gender and people naturally get curious about opposite things.

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Posted

That is not "avoiding" the inappropriateness, that is having to deal with it and handle it and still be on the receiving end of it. We don't need tactics for handling harassment.

We posted our OP in exactly the way we wanted to, we kept it simple and didn't "come on too strong" and we knew that some of our target members would recognize the codeword Grrrls. That word on it's own says everything we want it to without a huge TLDR post. The Riot Grrrl movement is known to address issues such as -----, domestic abuse, sexuality, racism, patriarchy and female empowerment and be inclusive to non-gender-conforming persons. Riot Girrrls are known to support and organize women and their allies.


Our second post (where we mention being a safe place) had a bit more of an explanation than our initial post and our group spent several days going back and forth in a google doc to phrase it exactly the way we wanted it. We didn't need to put all the info from our second post in with the OP because they each had their own purposes. Yes, Gamer Grrrls, indeed!

Touche- if you want to take the word literally; but putting yourselves in this little protective bubble just seems unnecessary. I really don't see the need in this whole "segration from the real world, and gaming being a means to escape from it" thing. Girls get "harassed" by guys outside of gaming, and you have to find ways to avoid / deal with the unwanted attention- need not make it out to be such a big deal. As someone said earlier, you're limiting your own experience- guys can be a joy to play with, more so than female counterparts in my opinion.

In regards to your guild ad... I find short guild ads to be sloppy; and a well-thought out guild ad is one that I would feel more inclined to take seriously. Girls that truely agree with this whole "riot grrrl" movement would not find a guild ad to be "tl:dr". But... that's just me, and I find it hard to believe that this group consists of girls that don't like to flaunt their "girl" status around.

Anyway, have fun with it :).

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Posted (edited)

I really don't see the need in this whole "segration from the real world, and gaming being a means to escape from it" thing. Girls get "harassed" by guys outside of gaming, and you have to find ways to avoid / deal with the unwanted attention- need not make it out to be such a big deal.

 

We are glad you personally don't feel a need for a guild like ours. We are content with the fact that not all players will feel the need to find a space like ours to game comfortably. I'm confident that you can grasp that not every gamer has had the same experiences as you or needs / wants the same things you do.

 

As someone said earlier, you're limiting your own experience- guys can be a joy to play with, more so than female counterparts in my opinion.

We aren't first time gamers, I think we will be fine with limiting our own experience this time around. ;-)

 

In regards to your guild ad... I find short guild ads to be sloppy; and a well-thought out guild ad is one that I would feel more inclined to take seriously. Girls that truely agree with this whole "riot grrrl" movement would not find a guild ad to be "tl:dr"

I'm sure that when you make your own guild ad you will craft it exactly as you see fit.

... I find it hard to believe that this group consists of girls that don't like to flaunt their "girl" status around.

Anyway, have fun with it :).

An interesting notion seeing as how we are doing our best to not associate with the type of males who would be the likely target of such behavior and to not make our member's names or our eventual guild name public. 

Edited by Alpha
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Posted

I actually read this page out off boredom.

And here is my honest opinion: I don't care. That u even think bout this. Plenty of skilled girls and plenty of 'begging' bois. Plenty of different gender preferences and different races.

Who rly gives a f#ck! Just play the goddamned game ... Oh crap we can't yet.

 

 

Carry on then ^^

 

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Posted (edited)

Ohhh boyyyy, we got ourselves a rally forum in here !

So, after reading allot of back and forward comments + some irrational post's I just want to say one thing ...

Girl guilds are great and I've played many games where I have had great experiences playing with and against girls (btw I am a male), but the way you introduced the guild into this community was feministic, you overexerted the notion of male harassment online. "Stalkers" do exist ... to a degree, rarely you'd find a stalker and the degree which they can stalk is totally down to how much you expose yourself. What does this mean? females have to hide more information then men ? well ... even men get stalked by other men but of course females are targeted more, thus leaving them with the responsibility to not share information beyond the game. Now this is not the place to debate whether or not it is right that females have to hide information just because they are female.

Male harassment is apparent everywhere in the gaming community, from counterstrike to [insert majority of F2P games] but just because females have these experiences or just because you may not feel comfortable, does not make it Ok to portray this guild as a safe haven for female gamers, this conveys an isolate agenda away from the male gender. Not all guys are stalkers ...

Edited by Myst/Fama

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Posted

tumblr_n39nuyf8DK1tx9se1o1_500.jpg

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Posted

popcorn_meme.thumb.gif.1b0d108013a2f43a4

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Posted

We are glad you personally don't feel a need for a guild like ours. We are content with the fact that not all players will feel the need to find a space like ours to game comfortably. I'm confident that you can grasp that not every gamer has had the same experiences as you or needs / wants the same things you do.

 

We aren't first time gamers, I think we will be fine with limiting our own experience this time around. ;-)

 

I'm sure that when you make your own guild ad you will craft it exactly as you see fit.

An interesting notion seeing as how we are doing our best to not associate with the type of males who would be the likely target of such behavior and to not make our member's names or our eventual guild name public. 

OK.

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Posted

Our guild supports the other social justice guilds we have seen forming up here and we hope to work together with them in the future toward common goals in-game. The comments on these threads makes the need for these kind of guilds so self evident 😔

The more the "majority" (straight / cis / white / affluent / men) sees that they are no longer relevant to -every- conversation and situation the angrier they get. The more they see their opinion is not sought, their approval is not looked for, their presence is not automatically deferred to... The more they react with the kind of subconscious emotional panic that makes them spew out the ridiculous hatred that I think we have all witnessed by now.

To the players who are just looking for a place to spend your valuable game-time free from that sort of behavior: We support you, whichever guild you find to be your home!

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Our guild supports the other social justice guilds we have seen forming up here and we hope to work together with them in the future toward common goals in-game. The comments on these threads makes the need for these kind of guilds so self evident 😔

The more the "majority" (straight / cis / white / affluent / men) sees that they are no longer relevant to -every- conversation and situation the angrier they get. The more they see their opinion is not sought, their approval is not looked for, their presence is not automatically deferred to... The more they react with the kind of subconscious emotional panic that makes them spew out the ridiculous hatred that I think we have all witnessed by now.

To the players who are just looking for a place to spend your valuable game-time free from that sort of behavior: We support you, whichever guild you find to be your home!

Wat.

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Posted (edited)

Just a note to the folks that have expressed interest here and elsewhere, be sure to check your PMs as we are getting organized for the next beta starting this Thursday morning (Or late Wednesday night for some of our US members). Besides getting more in-game experience and bug hunting for the beta we are planning to use this next beta to decide between the guild's two preferred VOIPs and practice some clan/guild (hope they are enabled) settings without the worry suffering repercussions of making booboos there. Can't wait to play with our members who were with us for the first beta again and also looking forward to playing with the members who have joined since then! We hope we will be able to sync up our play time better this time around so we can have more extended teaming runs.

Thank you all for your kind words of support here and via PM, even if you have other guild obligations.

Edited by Alpha
Edited to reflect actual beta start date not client DL access.
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Posted

Someone said grill? :ph34r:

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Posted (edited)

i am in ! smash patriarchy! :)  <3 riot girls unite! <3:x queer and romantik punks!

P.S newbie ,just preorder it ,so will be downloading it tomorrow ,please info me on how to accept .

Edited by mentalundead83
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Posted

This reminds me of Team Siren from League, haha!

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It was down to the wire but it looks like the handful of our members that didnt pre-order were all able to get beta keys! It was great to see everyone pulling together and finding those links and contests to help each other out even when a lot of us already had access. It shows that already we are coming together as the close-knit and supportive group we were hoping to make! =) Can't wait to see you all in-game!!! <3

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Thanks to all our members who were so helpful to each other in the last beta. If it's any indication of how well we will work together in the live game then we are very optimistic our group will be a tight knit and helpful bunch. With such a rich and detailed game, it's great to have be in a supportive atmosphere for help with the complicated bits! =}

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Posted (edited)

Our server selection has been made, our voice program set up, our guild site bought.... 15 hours to go! Bring it on BDO, we are ready!

Edited by Ashlyn
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